One the things we were asked to do as "homework" ahead of the 2nd RLF session was to write our life story to share with the rest of the people in our group.
I've written a couple of drafts - and I may make a few other changes - but here's my story:
I was born in Bristol, an industrial town in the South West of England, in the mid-1960’s to parents who were already looking after a son of almost 4 and a daughter of almost 3. My mom had known something felt different about her pregnancy, but it wasn’t until 4 weeks before I was born that she insisted on an x-ray (ultrasounds still being a thing of the future…), and learned that she was having twins. My brother and I arrived, and my mom was now caring for four children under 4.
I remember very little of my early childhood in Bristol – a few snatched memories of me running through the school with huge boxes of chips stacked up on either side of the corridor, and the caretaker from the high school who used to mow the field that backed onto our garden and would hand us sweets through the fence (something for which he would probably be arrested now a days).
At age 4 our family moved to Amersham – a small commuter town 30 miles North West of London, in the rolling Chiltern hills of Buckinghamshire. Childhood was uneventful for the most part – I enjoyed school, I enjoyed living in the countryside, and I enjoyed being part of Scouts, where I learned to love the outdoors and outdoor activities such as hiking and camping – something which has remained to this day.
The one part of growing up that stands out as I was getting older was the gulf that there seemed to be between my older brother and me. Although only four years separated us it seemed much more. Richard didn’t find school easy, dropping out before he was 16 and starting work at the local hospital where my Dad worked. As was typical for many teenagers he also started drinking – I have vivid memories of waking up late at night hearing him arguing with Mum and Dad after arriving home from the pub drunk. My Dad was quite reserved, and I think found this hard to deal with. He was born in Germany in 1929, the only son of a middle class Jewish family. As Germany moved towards the 2nd World War and the hostility towards Jews increased, his parents moved to London. Dad had to learn a new language and culture when he arrived in England, but completed High School and later qualified as a hospital Laboratory Technician and eventually became a Chief Medical Laboratory Scientific Officer, running his own hematology lab at the local hospital.
I guess it may be because of the conflict that existed between my older brother and my parents that I went out of my way to try and make life easy on them. One of the characteristics that many people have used to describe me is diplomatic, and I wonder to what extent that trait was formed through those early experiences.
Recently I read an article in Time magazine which said college students graduating now were likely to change career at least 4 times over the course of their lives. As I look back I think that’s pretty much how my career has developed.
I left school at 18, having decided when I was 16 that I wanted to follow my sister and Mum into nursing. I was accepted at University College Hospital and started my 3 ½ year training in 1984. I met my future wife, Rachel, in 1985 through a church we were both involved in. I was head over heels in love, and after dating for 6 months we got engaged, and were married 6 months later – when I was 20 and Rachel was 21. Living in central London and trying to rent a place to live whilst on a student nurses salary became untenable, and so I made one of the hardest decisions of my life, giving up nursing before completing my formal training. It was a decision that hurt my parents, particularly my Mum, and I don’t think I’ve had a worse conversation than the one I had when I told them I was leaving that job. I always find it amazing to think back on decisions that impact the rest of your life so dramatically – if I had continued my nurse training it is likely I would never have ended up working for Pfizer, would never have moved to the US, and wouldn’t be sharing my story with the RLF group in New York…
After leaving nursing I moved to the South East coastal town of Ramsgate where we had friends, and ended up working as a Financial Advisor for a real estate company. This in turn led me to apply for a place on a management training scheme with a UK bank, and so began the second phase of my career.
After successfully completing the management training program I was given responsibility for managing a retail bank branch in the historic city of Canterbury where the building we occupied dated from the 15th Century and was within a stones throw of Canterbury Cathedral. Four years after starting work there I was offered the opportunity to join an initiative where the bank was looking at how to use technology to enable more efficient processes across its network of branches and mortgage processing centers. I joined as a Project Analyst and got my first taste of technology and project work and found that I loved both. After 2 years the group was relocated to Yorkshire in Northern England. I was offered the chance to move too but decided that with a young family it wasn’t the right time. This put a ceiling on my career in the bank so I looked for my next role (and career move number three) and a temporary job opened up at the European Headquarters of the Pharmaceutical company Pfizer, based just 6 miles from where I was living. I joined in 1997, becoming a permanent member of staff a year later, and have been with the company since.
My first role at Pfizer was helping establish and manage a Project Support Office, and then I moved into a Business Management role and eventually Project and Program Management. Following Pfizer’s acquisition of Pharmacia in 2003, there were large scale staff reductions in the UK, and I was offered a chance to relocate to Connecticut to join Pfizer’s Global R&D operations as a Project Manager supporting Human Resources. This time it was the right move for us to make and so with our two sons, who at that time were 12 and 8, we sold our house in the UK and began a new adventure relocating to the US.
Since moving here we have felt very much at home. Though fiercely proud of their English heritage, our sons wouldn’t want to move back to the UK, and we recently passed that strange milestone where our youngest son, Andrew, has now lived more of his life in the US than in the UK.
Since being part of the Scouts growing up in England, I have loved the outdoors – and so it was natural to get involved in the Scouts here especially as my older son, Matt, also seemed to really enjoy the outdoors. He has pursued this right into college where he will soon graduate with a BS in Recreation, Adventure Travel and Eco-Tourism. He wants to go into guiding for an expedition company and I am sure he will end up moving somewhere with more challenging terrain than Connecticut.
Andrew, is the polar opposite – quieter and more reserved, with great academic drive and no real desire to camp or hike anywhere. It always amazes me how two children, born to the same parents, and raised in the same way, can be so different – I guess that’s the beauty of uniqueness!
Looking ahead, I am wise enough not to say I know what the future holds. My wife is a qualified Yoga and Spin instructor and we both harbor the dream of opening a Bed and Breakfast business somewhere with a Yoga Studio along side it. When and where that will happen we’re not sure yet but I always love looking back and wondering how many of the things I’m doing now I could have predicted 15, 10 or even 5 years ago. It makes me excited to think about where we’ll be and what we’ll be doing 5, 10 or 15 years in the future.
For now I’m enjoying being where I am. I feel challenged at work and am looking forward to learning more about myself and my leadership style through the RLF. One of the challenges laid down for us when we started the program was to be honest, to be open, and to take a risk. I hope I have done this as I have shared my story, and I’m looking forward to what the next 9 months holds in store.
